Tuesday.....Today

I went in to see Marcus this morning at 9am like I have everyday since the kids started school here. This morning he was without his nasal canula...which I thought was kind of wierd, I didn't process what that meant until the nurse said "he's off oxygen" I can't tell you how excited that made me and how happy that made me too. Marcus is getting closer to coming home just have to get down the feedings, sometimes he is awfully tired and so they gavage it (Introduction of nutritive material into the stomach by means of a tube.) We have to get to the point where he doesn't need a feeding gavaged to where he can sustain himself to be awake enough to eat his food to where they can take the gavage tube out and he continue to gain weight. We are still on standby...waiting...It'll be great to have him home finally when it does happen, but it will also be that much sweeter having him completely ready to come home! I wanted to fill you all in on what is happening with him, it is such a great great distance he has come in such a short time. He weighs 7lbs. 9oz. that is what Kyle weighed when he was born...Marcus is such a little trooper, he achieves every goal that is set before him...ALREADY and he isn't even technically a month old, he will do great things in this life, of that I am certain.



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Preemie Marcus

RJ and I recently added to our family, it was 3 months early however and RJ had to come home from Afghanistan, it wasn't exactly how anyone would want things to go down, but here is the story of how things transpired. I noticed the night of the 3rd of August that my legs and feet were puffy...I didn't notice until I was getting into the bath that night after we had gone to an event thrown by Lincoln Military Housing. so once I got out of the tub I tried to take my bp with my own little blood pressure cuff I have had since my pregnancy with Bryen. When I was pregnant with Kyle I got hypertension and they hospitalized me for a week and so when we found ou...t we were pregnant with Bryen up in Iceland I bought the cuff so that I can monitor my own bp at home...nothing ever really went wrong with Bryen's pregnancy...it was totally fine, but I still had this cuff, which turns out to be a good thing for the events prior to Marcus. Anyhow, I "tried" to take my bp, but it wouldn't for some reason, I thought maybe it was the batteries so I pulled out some new ones put them in and tried it again...still didn't work. Okay, so I w...as pissed, I knew it had to be high, couldn't figure out why the stupid thing was working, but I knew from the symptoms that my bp had to be high just like when I was pregnant with Kyle. SO...I gave up and went to bed, and the next morning, I woke up, still puffy, found the instructions for the bp cuff, and read in the instructions that the reason it was doing what it was doing was because it wasn't inflated enough...another confirmation to me that it was high...so I tried it again, inflating it ALOT more than I normally have to...and it read...150/117,(that isn't the exact numbers but it is really close)your average bp should be something like 120/75 so...you can see from that how freaking high my bp was!(later RJ told me when I was actually admitted to the hospital that my bp was 178/126)they start to freak when your bp gets high because you could have a stroke or a siezure...I am glad that I kind of freaked about being puffy and called the doc after seeing what my bp cuff read. OKAY, so...I went to my OB's office that morning, and they took my bp numerous times, and after checking everything out they sent me over to the Labor and Delivery there in the hospital so that they could monitor my bp for a few hours(I am so lucky to have great friends that help me out when I get in a bind...NAMELY Jennifer Maldonado, THANK YOU SO MUCH JEN FOR HAVING MY BOYS THROUGH ALL OF THIS!)So...they monitored me for a few hours, and after a little bit, they gave me a bp medication called Labeatolol and sent me home with strict orders for bedrest, no housework, NOTHING, and then they wanted me to come back to the doctors office the next morning, so...I did the best I could...freaking out all the while cuz RJ is in Afghanistan and they're telling me to do bedrest, school is about to start and I have to go school shopping still and I have 2 children to take care of virtually impossible to do when you're not supposed to do anything..but I thought I would wait and see what happens at the appointment the next morning. I went to that appointment and of course the bp pill they gave me did NOTHING, so they freaked out a little, Dr. Hanna sent me with a perscription for bp meds to take daily and xanax, I went to the front desk and they were on the phone scheduling me an appointment with the specialist that I was seeing for my ultrasounds he was the specialist on the baby in utero and they got me an appointment that day at 1pm at this point it was already 11am so...I had to go try to find out what I could about putting in a red cross call for RJ to see if they might send him home to help me out having to be on bed rest...so I did that, got information that is needed for that, and intiated the call to the Red Cross while on my way to the appointment with Dr. Jidali (the specialist) I couldn't help when I put in the call to the red cross but to break down crying to the lady taking the call...it really wasn't something I wanted to be happening, I was thinking about what happened with Kyle's pregnancy and I knew I couldn't afford being hospitalized...didn't want that to happen! Anyway, I went to Jidali's office, they took my bp...still high of course...they did an ultrasound checked the baby he was fine just hangin' out in there, and then...when the doctor came in, he was tripping out a little and sent me straight away to the hospital, he didn't even let me drive myself, he made one of his girls take me there....went to Labor and Delivery again, and they admitted me and started Magnesium Sulfate to keep me from having a seizure or stroke and amidst all of the buzzing in and out and injections and blood draws and pokes and pokes and pokes of constant trying to get my iv, and giving me shots of steroids to help the baby's lungs mature faster...I caught a chance to ask one of the nurses how long I was supposed to be in the hospital...and she said "I think it's until the baby is born" I knew at that point, RJ HAD TO COME HOME...so I contacted the red cross again to let them know the update on what is happening with me...luckily I got the chance to do that before I really started feeling like I wanted to die, I did get to the point where I wanted to just die, it was the most miserable I have ever been in my entire life, and I would NEVER wish it on my worst enemy! I don't recall much except for really feeling miserable and that my friends were popping in to check on me and try to make me feel better, there were occasions where I was coherant enough to carry on conversations, but mostly I was out of it, and felt like death. As the doctor explained it to me, I was the babies ICU, as long as they could keep him in me, the better because he was doing well in there, and it would be far more difficult for him out of me...honestly, I would rather be the one to suffer...thinking about it now, I did get to a point where I was saying "THEY JUST NEED TO TAKE THE BABY" I wish I had never said that...but even if I hadn't things still would have gone this way Okay, so now...I'm there in the hospital feeling like death, wishing this wasn't happening wondering what was happening with my husband, if he'll be able to come home, what is gonna happen with me, why I was feeling so miserable (that magne...sium sulfate is HORRIBLE STUFF) and all the while my sweet friends were coming and helping me with things, bringing me things, trying to make me feel better. Sarah, my newfound sweetheart, asked me if I would like to have a blessing from the priesthood holders in my church (I know some of you won't understand this...let's just say...they comfort, bless the sick to get well, etc...and it is based alot on FAITH...but faith and hope is what alot of us hold on to and it is something I will never live without) because I know what I know I accepted Sarah's offer to help me out to recieve a blessing of comfort from them and they came in and did it for me...I can tell you, I did feel better, knowing that I had recieved the blessing but also because I felt the love of my Heavenly Father so strongly then and I knew he was watching over me. Now...after all of this, I got called from RJ saying he was on his way home, and I knew he would be a few days because it takes a while to get here from there...I started to feel even worse..physically, and I knew that it wasn't going to be long before things really went down and I think deep down I knew that I was going to have a premature baby...I just didn't know how long I was gonna be able to make it. The 5th day I was there, my husband came into the room, first time I have seen him in 4 months and I look like HELL but he was there! He came and said hello to me, let me know he was there, and then went to get his boys from our dear friend who had kept them for us while I was in the hospital. 6 hours after he got back, and was with our boys, they came in and told me that I had protein in my urine and that they were going to do a c section and take the baby because my body ICU wasn't gonna do it anymore...my only thought was "CALL MY HUSBAND" I so desperately wanted him there for the birth and I was so happy he able to be here! They called him back, he came and they took me in for surgery, all that prep stuff, drugged me up real good and took out my little 28 week gestation baby...yet another amazing thing I remember hearing the doctor say "OH, whatever doubts I had about doing this are now gone because she was starting an abruption" RJ got home, hours before my body said OK, time to go...I think there was most certainly a higher power at work with how things transpired, I really do. I feel so blessed that things weren't worse and I feel sooooo very blessed to have angels watching over me, up above as well as here on earth, I have some of the best people in my life, and I want you all to know how greatful I am to have you in my life.

School

School starts up again on August 24th, I don't really feel ready for it to happen, but I think that it will be a good down time before Marcus comes. I don't know if I told you guys...we're going to name the baby Marcus Timothy McGaha. The boys and I have been spending alot of time lately playing Super Mario Brothers Wii...it is so fun, and it also is a blast to watch the boys get angry at each other because they accidentally kill each other on the game or something like that, it's funny cuz they can pick each other up and kill each other on purpose too...it's horrible, but funny at the same time. Anyways, I just wanted to put a little something here on the blog :o)

Rough Days

Lately my days seem to be running into each other and it seems like people are consorting with each other against me, it's a conspiracy. No...of course not really...but it just has been pretty rough knowing what is okay and NOT okay to say to people. I'm having a pretty rough time. That is all I have to say about that *Forrest Gump*

Irritability

I could say...I have been really irritable this last little while...however, I can't say that it is at everything because honestly it isn't! I have been oooooober irritated with certain nouns that really have tried my patience into ablivion! I think I really need to grow a pair of my own and just put people in their place when I disagree with things they may say or things that they do...I mean really, is it to much to ask to be just a LITTLE considerate of someone elses feelings about small things...it doesn't always have to be a huge gesture, it could be something small and simple that you do or STOP doing that will help the fact that you are so irritating change! My gosh, I might as well have just said a person, not noun...but seriously, it's not even just a person...it is a place and things as well so actually noun was quite suited. I am going to stop now while I'm ahead...on a happy note...I saw Eclipse tonight and it was actually quite well done and I was glad to have had the opportunity! Good deal!

BLAH!

I am just plain tired all the time! I am tired of the boys constant fighting about NOTHING, I am tired of having to fix things that the dog messes up in the back yard, I am tired of being without a husband (not just physically), I am tired of living at Point Mugu away from civilization, to get anything that isn't overpriced or frickin' SUBWAY you have to drive a minimum of 8 miles, and I am tired of being pregnant already. I have found that swimming helps with the aching hips, for a little while at least, it is a definate bonus to have discovered that one and I totally wouldn't have if it wasn't for Jen Maldonado my friend here, cuz I NEVER would have gotten in the pool. I keep thinking that if I am only half way through this pregnancy that things are only going to get worse...my hips are causing me pain that can not be explained, and every time I call the doctors office of course they say "only tylenol" tylenol doesn't do jack for pain, really...are pregnant women supposed to be in agony all the way through pregnancy and then have it increase with delivery and then afterward suffer more because of the demands of life and the children you already have and the child you just had? Wow...yea, I am on a little bit of a tangeant here...but this is what is on my mind right now. I feel so crappy sometimes that all I want to do is just sit around and do NOTHING, and when I say nothing I mean, the house is in complete dissaray, the kids run around in nothing but their underwear...I MEAN NOT A DAMN THING! I can definately say that there is a depression in play here because of how dramatically life changed when RJ left, and how dramatic a life change it was to even just come back to battalion...military life is most certainly not a glamorous one, and if there are people out there who thing it is glamarous...I ask them to give it a try and find out for themselves that it most certainly is NOT. If we go away from the house for an extended period of time, we all start to feel good and play and have fun and then we have to come back to this place to deal with the dog, the mess and then there is something in these walls or in the air out here at Mugu that is making us all be congested and feel like CRAP for the first little while in the day. I wish that this was more than just a bitch fest here, but...this is what a blog is for isn't it? To get things off you mind and off your chest even if it isn't always positive. BLAH, anyhow, I am sure that my kids are thinking, my mom sucks...so...I gotta do something

March 30, 2010

The title is one of the hardest days I had in a long time! It is the day RJ left on deployment for the first time in over 7 years...it was very difficult. I do wish that there was a way to avoid having to go through such things, but being a military family, it is one of the things that you go through because it is your duty and also because you know that the price does not outweigh the purpose of what he is doing...doesn't mean it doesn't SUCK! Anyway, on to something else shall we...

I am 19 weeks and 6 days pregnant, I can feel the baby move quite a bit and...oh yes, I didn't know when we were due when I last blogged...we are due Nov. 2, but there will be a c section a week prior to that, the possibility of me still being in the hospital for Bryen's birthday is extremely HIGH! I am hoping that we can do the surgery on the 22nd of Oct, but that is up to the doc I am seeing where I get the ultra sounds done. We are...having another boy, at least that is what was said when I had an ultra sound on June 1st. I am going back for another on June 29th, I guess the reason I have all of these ultra sounds isn't anything beyond what they do normally so...whatever..hehe!

Life is quite different having two kids, a dog and being pregnant with your husband deployed...quite different from having 1 child that isn't 2 yet...that is what it was the last time we did a deployment. I'm gonna go now, but I will blog more later