Back 2 Work

OK, first I wanna say I don't want to go back to work, I am feeling very overwhelmed with things that are happening around this place, but I do think I'm doing it to myself, but I also feel that I don't need the added stress of trying to find daycare for my kids while I go to work. ANYWAY, here is what happened, I went to the gastro doc, he decided to do that procedure called the ERCP. I went and had that procedure done and before I even left the hospital I knew that it came back that everything was normal, so...of course I was frustrated and wanted to know what the heck was wrong. On the way home from the hospital, I puked twice, I think it was cuz of the meds that they put in me to sedate me, I don't remember the procedure at all. Anyhow, after a couple days, I felt just fine, and I mean...JUST FINE, no pain really, I don't know what happened, if when they injected the dye that they knocked whatever was causing the problem loose or what, but anyways, I am like...WHA! So, I went back to see the doc for a follow up and told him what's going on, and he said, that he thought it was A stone, that passed and caused these problems in passing, he said that it may happen again and if it does that I should have my gallbladder out because it can cause irreperable damage to my pancreas having attacks. SO...that is where I am with that whole escapade...at least for now. I am supposed to go back to work on Thursday, yes I will, but I think that it's time that I move on. I have enjoyed being able to stay home with Bryen while Kyle has gone to school and relaxing a bit, I do feel sorta lazy, but I think it's better that specially for now, I need to not have that added to things I worry about. RJ got orders, we are supposed to be moving from Missouri to Cali next year, that is what I'm stressed about, but not as much as getting this house sold before then. I don't know how well the market is sustaining itself here, we do sort of have a micro community, but I just don't know you know. I'm nervous about that, and I really want to know that everything is going to work out the way we want it to, but you know what I have learned, everything doesn't always go the way you want it to. I'm just thinking things over and over and over in my mind, and you know what, I don't know how to quit my job. I mean, I have had to quit jobs before, but this is one that I have loved, and I really don't want to leave, but at the same time I do, the entire time I have had this job it has been a nightmare to try to keep daycare, and it's because of the irregular hours that I work, so if I were to try to keep steady daycare, I wouldn't be making enough to even pay for the daycare so it would be a waste. Anyway, I have gotten frustrated with some things at work too so it's time to move on! I gotta run, Bryen needs something to drink and I gotta get off this computer. LOL I love you my family...Heather, before we have to move back to cali we need to set something up to get together or something, I don't want to go all the way back over there without seeing you. Maybe Christmas time or something, I think RJ is planning to take leave...but dangit, we have a Jeff Dunham show in Kansas City on Dec 27th...we'll figure something out. Love From Me